Tuesday, November 8, 2011


"We know that you're not very high on sexuality. But what are your thoughts/opinion/feelings toward things such as : affection, tenderness, sensuality, cuddling, kissing, preliminaries, etc. How much do you need and enjoy these in a relationship? Do you fear going there because most guys will try to push it further? Would it feel better with a submissive guy that you know will never cross the line that you set?"
Affection, tenderness, and sensuality are wonderful. Kissing makes me uncomfortable as well, and preliminaries - such as oral or touching me - are right out. I love putting a man in bondage because well, he can't touch me when he's all tied up. I can explore his body with my fingers or with a crop and make it a beautifully sensual experience for both of us. I enjoy CFNM (clothed female naked male) for the same reason. He is accessible, I am not.

But then he wants more. He wants to get off. He wants to touch me, to please me. That's a valid need, for most people, but not for me.

Even submissive men have pressed for this, or, so-called submissive men. Or they have turned on me with blame and humiliation for not being sexual enough for them. Understandably I'm not into that dynamic. So how do I know for sure they will never cross the line I've set? Sex is powerful, to play with tease and denial is to play with fire.

It would take a rare man to always submit himself to me in that way, no matter how much I tease, to keep self-control because I will it of him.

1 comment:

  1. You are right about the fact that it would take unbelievable self-control to be able to stand this teasing, without asking for more. I think it requires more than a rare man. Once you got that rare man, he will need 2 more things to reach this point :

    1- To be madly in love with you. Because to accept such a self-sacrifice, such a denial of his own needs, you need to love the person you're doing this for... a lot!

    2- To be "trained". Because it won't come that easy. I'm sure that, even with all of his will, his natural instinct will sometimes emerge. For him, it will be a tough battle to win. It will be a constant struggle between his head and his natural instinct. To win, I think he will need your help. He will need your punishments and your rewards. He will need to reset and rewrite how his body and mind have been reacting to such teasing since milleniums. It will require patience, skills and dedication. But I think it's possible. Of course, a chastity cage can make everything much easier.

    So even if you've got that rare man, he will still need to go through this process. And how do you spot one of those rare men?

    1- He has to be a TRUE submissive. One who really gets more pleasure from pleasing his Mistress than satisfying his own fetishes and needs.

    2- It's a good hint if he has proven in the past that he can go for long periods without any sexual intercourse. It's a good idea to avoid the one night stand hunters, for example.

    3- He has to be in need of affection and love, or submission and devotion, more than in need of sex.

    4- He has to be respectful and understanding of others needs and limits.

    5- It helps if he has experience in D/s relationship, if he's into bdsm and if he has a history of keeping his former Mistresses happy.

    I think someone who fits there 5 criterias can be a good candidate. But then, he'll still need to fall in love with you and to be trained...