What is the appeal of financial domination for the men who practice it? I mean, it's obvious why a woman would like to do that. Make fun of people and they give you money? SIGN ME UP. Right?
Well, it's complicated.
Humiliations and degradation of the male is a perverse reverse side of the coin for the humiliation and degradation of the female.
Would it be so common if the established attitudes weren't all stereotypically one-sided?
I discovered Ayesha yesterday. As much as she goes straight for shock value there is some substance there.
If humiliations and degradations of the male include dressing them as female, that is not in fact degrading to the man but to the woman. Just like in online games or in business, men insult other men - not by calling them immature - but by calling them women. This is more insulting to any woman present than to any man, because it infers that even grown women are "worth less" than immature men, ie, boys, simply because that's the worst insult you can do aside from calling someone a nazi. But calling a woman a man is not supposed to be an insult? Huh?
I'm sure there must be some men who debase themselves and wish to be elevated to the status of women by dressing up and feeling beautiful - but again this is a societal problem in that maleness and male bodies and male dress are not currently allowed to be perceived as beautiful! Which is just sad.
Then, there's the white piggy syndrome. Similar to the white elephant, in that it's ignored. If you take money from your submissive, you either DON'T TALK ABOUT IT or you brag about it and make it part of your schtick.
There's no middle ground. There's the "good" Femdom, who simply doesn't tell people, and there's the "evil bitch" Femdom who revels in humiliating men and parting them with their money for her selfish purposes.
Why, in a "normal" Female led relationship, is this something to be hidden? It's just done, unspoken. Even when the woman has her own money, often the submissive will give her money as a symbol of surrendering his power to her for her use. But it's not talked about.
Is there a perceived stigma against the women who practice Financial Domination? Or the men who give money to women? Is it perceived as weak for a woman to accept money from a man?
Is it tied somehow to Pro work, that the men are paying for the humiliation they receive more than just donating to a woman's pleasure?
Please comment or email me or tweet, if you are a male who has given money to a Female Dominant. Let me know what motivates you to give. What do you get out of doing it? Is it the humiliation? Is it somewhat like donating to a charity and having that feel-good glow?
Help clear up my confusion on this, the White Piggy in the Room.
You discovered Ayesha yesterday? And here you are already, blogging about it, offering us your assessment. "She goes straight for shock value, but there is SOME substance there."
ReplyDelete"Why, in a "normal" Female led relationship, is this something to be hidden?"
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing that's because of our society's issues with the combination of sex (presuming said relationship involves sex) and money. A women who accepts money from her submissive and *gasp* talks about it runs the risk of being assumed to be a filthy whore who is only interested in her submissive's money. The guy, on the other hand gets to deal with the assumption that he's a pathetic loser who has nothing to offer a woman except his money. Good times all around.
Or then again, maybe it's just that money is such an important thing to so many people (I remember reading somewhere that fights about money are one of the most common reasons people get divorced) that we're scared to play with it, so we don't talk about the play we're not doing.
Which is too bad, because financial domination could be really hot. Sadly, it isn't up anymore but once upon a time Bitchy Jones had a great post about how financial domination could actually be compelling. She thought up scenarios like a man handing over more money to his dominant than he could really afford to part with, and having to slowly and painfully earn it back.
I'm really just thinking out loud (so to speak), but I hope something in my rambling is at least interesting.
@Raposo Yes I'm opinionated, you got a problem with that? Or maybe some comment on my points?
ReplyDelete@notjustbitchy That does sound hot!
No. And no. Your second question, if it was a question, seduced me to read the whole thing, and I have no opinion on that.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting territory this. When my wife calls me a “useless little faggot”, is she being homophobic? Is it degradation I feel when cross dressing (certainly, I look absolutely ridiculous, not beautiful)? If you like being degraded or humiliated, or you like degrading and humiliating, are you (inevitable, unwittingly) buying into certain prejudices.
ReplyDeleteNo and no. Or at least, not necessarily. There is an element of playing roles, of pretending to be disgusted/angry. My wife can use faggot as a term of derision while not having any problem with homosexuality, and in fact loving my bisexuality. I can enjoy cross dressing because it is elevating and freeing, while at the same time loving the anxiety and fear, the possibility of exposure and shame. I can feel ‘at home’ in drag, while being turned on by deviating from some norm that I have absorbed and cannot absolutely cast off.
On financial domination - I’m not sure why it is not spoken about. There are negative connotations, but I would have thought speaking about it, or dwelling on the ritual of handing over of the money, would be the point - especially if the money is the main aspect of the exchange. It’s often argued that paid for sex degrades all participants. On the other hand, we pay for and monetize pretty much everything else - what makes sex sacred?
Confused? Isn’t that a big part of the fun. Just caught on to your blog. Fascinating.
I am hopeful you'll continue to update this blog. We need more female perspective on the topic of female dominance and male submission. Thank you for what you've written so far.
ReplyDeletejohn
"....white piggy syndrome"? The vanilla world already knows so many syndromes that one or 2 more wouldn't make a difference. So who cares?! Besides, no such thing exists in a feminine femdom environment. Only in vanilla/recreational femdom areas, where, according to u, only "good" and "evil bitch" dominants r residing and wielding power(?) over pigs and elephants, could this become an issue.
ReplyDeleteI've given to dommes online before but I've never been owned by them. I usually don't tell them who I am. If they have a blog I enjoy reading and a wishlist, I usually buy them something from it, at least once.
ReplyDeleteBut rather than give to one self-centered narcissistic woman, I usually give to organizations that empower women in politics and education. I find that to be more satisfying actually.
I've seen a domme or two before that would force their slaves to give to charities but mostly they are self-centered. But the only way I'd give everything I had to woman like that is if I was complete owned by her 24/7 in real time.